Feeling great!

Some days I feel like I just want to wrap myself in a cocoon and hide. I think everyone does this one time or another, the trick is to unwrap yourself and be free of whats trying to confine you!
If you know me you know I don't have much patience when it comes to self pity. I feel like you need to release then move on. We have one life and there are no do overs! So even when you get into a funk that's fine, have your day and sulk, but get back up the next day and move on.
So this is the kind of self talk I do daily. I really try to be aware of peoples emotions around me and how mine can effect theirs. I'm always conscious of others emotions so theirs don't effect mine.

 I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

So as I move onto another part of my journey called life I'm keepng my heart and eyes open. I want to be more patient and understand others, so I dont take things so serious in life. I need to let others be them and not worry that it will reflect or effect me in any way. Choices are for those who make them!


I will remember.....
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
― Maya Angelou

chapters in my life

Seems like I'm always opening a new chapter in my life.

The past few months I have had a lot of trials and health issues. It has made me think so much more than I have in my whole life. Let me be the first to say that's saying a lot! I'm a natural born thinker, I always over-think everything I do in life. Now the time for making my thoughts into reality has been my biggest obstacle. I don't know how to put my thoughts and dreams into reality. I have constant fear of either failure or rejection. It is so hard when people think you have all the answers, I don't, I just don't!

The years are passing fast and it seems as I'm get older it going faster, I see loved ones come and go and it is so sad. My heart hurts more than I care to admit to others. I don't want to bring others down because I'm feeling blue, so I put on my clown face and pretend all is OK and I'm strong.

Sometimes I wish I could be weak like some I know. They seem to have got through life not really doing or saying a dam thing but people just assume they cant do more so they don't expect more from them. I say that's not fare. It is not fare that some get a pass go card because you are an idiot, and others get not a second chance when they "F" up!

For every chapter I head into I will keep an open mind and a wide eye!

Choices

CHOICES!
I have so many in life, they come and they go, some I make some are made for me. They never end, everyday is full of them, is mine better than yours? Who says who is right, Did you get a degree in it, are you a professional?, is my answer better or yours? The point is who is to say they are right?
I'm not a person with all the answers but I do try to see all points of view before I cast doubt or say my opinion. I don't go into things blind and opinionated! Its not for me to judge you.
I feel bad for you, I feel like no matter how far you run you will always be afraid. Keep running, one day you will stop and turn and find you have left a big trail of hurt and pain, you'll cry out for mercy and no one will hear you. I fear your future but I know I had no cause now, I know I am not to blame for your misery. I will pray for mercy and for you to see before you go blind forever. I pray one day the tears will sop, the pain will fade but until that day I lean unto understanding.

Weigh-in day!

Today was weigh-in day, well I'm down 3 lbs ad I'm a happy camper.
I have had one hell of a week, I cant say I watched what I ate, rater then stress got the better of me. This time was weird though, I've been not feeling well and usually when that happens I reach for food, I didn't feel the need. I dont know what has changed, but I'm tired of feeling sick and unhealthy.
Tomorrow I'm going to see a Dr. Hope all is well. I'm scared because I know I haven't been well.
Well till later peace love joy

Some people's children!

Some people never change and with that said I need to move on.
I have been living for others so long I have forgotten about my own needs and wants in life. I keep letting others dictate to me on how and what and where to do things. I guess you could call me weak in that case. If a stranger meets me they think, wow what a strong person, but in reality I'm good at putting on my clown face, smiling through the tears.
I need o get over this overwhelming feeling of trying to please each and every person in my life. It is so draining the soul out of me.
I got news last night about my mother and it floored me, I was so mad I just got up and told her I never wanted to talk to her, went to my room and slammed the door and layed on my bed whaling like I was 12 again.
She just don't understand that just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I still don't need a mother around!
She rather go off into her own world half way across the country just to be with her friends partying, doesn't she realize she is in her 60's and its time to put us first once in her life.
I could see if she was living life up because she didn't get to when we was young, but no we have never had a mother sober or there for me and my sis and bro. Never! Man I really hate being so mad, I hate she has made me a wreck again for the thousandth time! Never again I'm not letting my guards down.
Mark my words, you will cry out again and this time I wont hear you!
So from this day forth I give my self permission to know I'm worth it, I'm worth being loved the way I want to be loved, I'm worth waking up happy, I'm worth dressing pretty just because, I'm worth treating myself with love and respect, and no one but no one will change the good person I am!
Onto new days and new life!

Excuses, excuses!!

I have made excuses all my life, be it for me or someone I love.
Its funny some days when I get these light-balb moments! I know that I have to be the one who changes. I get mad some days wen I get told, do this, do that, and guess who I take it out on? ME!! I eat wat ever dont exercise and I wonder why I dont lose weight? I know why I dont lose, its a matter of getting te "want" back.
In earlier blogs Ive writted all about sabotage and what I need to do. I just cant seem to have te "want". Today I woke up and talked to my mom, she was letting me know my sister had a great time (as in tick tock time) running a 5k yesterday. One second I'm feeling so happy for her then in the next moment I was jealous. As most of you know I suffer from Fobro and its taking its toll on me mentally and physically. I so bad to do those tings, I want to run and be free ( in my head when I run), I love to run and exercise, oh how I miss it.
So I need to get in gear, last few days I just ave been in the "I dont give a flip" mode. I looked at the calendar and realized the challenge myself and my sister have is almost done! Next wed we are to weigh-in and see wo won, I know already it wasnt me! I have even gained, Im so dissapointed in myself!
I have to start putting me first, I always put others in front of ME! So no more excuses lets kick some ass this week Shawn!!

Another day passed and no rewards

Its been a long time coming and I need to get with the program. I just cant seem to have the want to lose this weight.
Last night I even dreamed of how great it felt to lose weight and ware nice clothes. I just want to be the old me, care free and with a big smile all the time.
As the days pass I feel more and more heavy, not just in weight but also in my spirit. I want to regain the fight I once had and not go down this path every week.
Every wed. I weigh-in and jot down my weight in my book, that's if I feel like it. Then I get so upset at another wasted week gone and no real loss of weight, I have never completed a whole week on a diet or any plan for that matter. I just cant seem to follow through. But that seems to be the story of my life, never complete a dang gone thing!
So what should I do? I hate this feeling of just not caring but also caring, know what I mean? I care that I need to lose weight, but I don't care to give up my favorite foods.
Funny thing is a lot of my favorite foods are now becoming my tummies worse enemy, by that I mean my stomach cant handle to much fried foods or spicy so it takes a lot of things that once was my trigger foods to now not. But the downside to this is I have become more apt to eat sweats instead. I love love love sweats oh yeah did I say I LOVE SWEATS! I adore the way they make my mouth sing!
I always hear it doesn't taste as good as skinny but I tell you its been a long time since I've been skinny and not to long ago I tasted sweats, so in my minds eye there is no contest here in the short term of thing. I need to make it to skinny so I know how that taste, he-he!
So again I'm back on this journey, I will try to write daily :)
Peace Love Joy

Weigh-in day!

I've come to a conclusion, once again, I just cant do diets!
I hate them, I feel restricted and not good, then I end up gaining! so I'm making up my own food plan.
I have been reading a book on foods that help fibro, very interesting I might say.
I believe as it does in order to be a better all around person you must treat food as fuel. Eat whole-foods, unprocessed foods!
I have a bad habit of eating due to my feelings and not listening to my  knowledge of foods I know will help me, and what they do to my body. I'm a emotional eater, I eat when I'm happy, sad, mad, glad!
 I need to learn how to conquer this demons! I have a will like no other to feel better but some days I just say wtf and forget my goals and eat everything in site. I cant do this anymore I feel out of control and I'm in  funk daily.
So here I go again new weigh-in was bad, up again, I'm so over this battle, wasted days and weeks.
I'm in this to win this battle against the bulge. I AM WORTH IT!!
 so onto a new day and new foods to try
Peace Love Joy!

Another food-filled day!

Food log for Thurs.


I started my day with 1 egg 1/2 tomato and cottage cheese. I wasn't really into it, I felt kind of sick, so I gave it to my dog.
I went on with my day got hungry about 11 made left over pasta w/ grilled chicken, was good satisfied my hunger.
Around 2 I started getting hungry so I made myself a big salad with grilled chicken strips. It was amazing and hit the spot.
During the next few hours I started to get board and decided I wanted something sweet, I should have figured it would send me into a tail spin! I ate a banana sundae, when I was done I wanted my usual salty snack, I had chips with cottage cheese. I had sent bj to go get chips for me while she was away I ate 3 girl scout cookies, yikes I'm in full-blown munchies attack!!!

Then came dinner time and we cooked out. We had steak with side of potato and salad. I ended up eating seconds on that meal even though I felt like I was going to burst. But no I had to have a ice cream cone! Now I'm so full I hate myself. I just sat there and wondered why? Why do I do this to myself? I felt so sick and ended up having bad night sleep, had heart burn all night. I woke up feeling sluggish and bad my scale said what I did today.
So onto another day see what it holds?
Have a blessed night and Peace Love Joy!!

Food to eat or not to eat to much!

Food Log for Wed. 5/23/12




I will be logging my food consumption from previous day. 
Yesterday was a crazy day, full of confusion and ended up not so good. Here is how it played out:
breakfast was at OK time, I hear its great to eat in the first hour you wake but man its hard. I wake to get my brother ready medications done, then its time for me, so I ate

• 1 egg, slice of dry toast, 1/2 tomato, 1/4 c. cottage cheese

I felt OK was a little on the down side because of head cold I have going on, I spent most of the morning reading this new book I have on what to eat when you have Fibromyalgia. It put me in a tail spin of confusion, I just got done with this other book that told me so many different things. I hate this!! Makes me so confused, then I had a aha moment and said I have to make my own plan and put down how foods make me feel when eaten. I'll make my own diet up as I go. 
So after all that craziness, I was getting hungry, and realized it was going on 4pm! I missed my lunch and snack from earlier and now I'm starved, not good! So I ate:

•  handful of almonds (as I was looking for food to stuff in my mouth)
• ice cream with chocolate fudge and almonds on it ( I was given so I ate because I was starved)
• pasta with mixed peppers, grilled chicken breast ( was suppose to be for lunch)
• chips(because of course I need salty after something sweet)
• 3 glasses of pop( to wash down all that garbage)
• 5 girl scout cookies(to top off my sugar craze I was on)

So the night closes and I'm feeling like crap from all the poor food choices, funny how your mouth gets away from you before you know it you eat the whole dam kitchen up!  
So today I'm going to try to eat every few hours and log my food intake again tomorrow.

It's a long journey but I know I will get there! I know I can do this I just have to, I want to be there for my family, not just on the sidelines, but actively playing a roll in their lives!
Onto a better day(I pray) and 
Peace Love Joy!

Log it and know it!

So another week has ended, and weigh-in is tomorrow. How did I do? I'm not sure this past week I had a lot of ups and downs with not only my eating but my pain from Fibromyalgia.
It has been hard to get my mind on me. It sounds funny but I help everyone in my life but me. I just cant seem to get on board with my life = helping others, without my life there will be no helping others. So I have to put me first right?
Some times as a woman we are expected to be all and everything to our families, I think they think we are super hero's with the will to conquer all! Not this lady, I'm getting tired of the cape and tights!
I got so over whelmed this past week I actually considered going nuts, yes you read it right, I was on my way over the top and falling fast down the slippery slope of doom. I just felt tired and I was in pain and this eating crap sucks! Seems like the more healthy I eat the more weight I gain? Just my luck I tell yeah!
So tomorrow is a new day and always a new start. I will pick myself up again and move on, I know that this to shall pass and the trials in my life are many but I can overcome all if I remember in the end we all was here trying to live.
I will take this next week serious I will write daily on my food tolerances and times ate. I will make daily challenges for myself.
I have to figure out this body of mine. I've been reading books about my condition, tons of info out there, but like many diet books I take them with a grain of sand. I use to get all gun-ho about a new book I read and its miracle that was inside, only to find out it reeked havoc on my body and topped it off if I restrict calories like they say, my body gains rapidly.
Things I have come to a conclusion:

• diets don't work
• "Real" food works
•  counting calories are waist of time
• listen to my body it knows what it needs
• water is disparately needed in order to lose weight
• balance is key
• processed is the devil

I have come to a point in life, well I have to say again, where I need to make myself accountable for making my bodies ailments go away. I can bitch all I want but in the end its me who is in charge not the food, not the stress of life, me that's who I'm in charge! Now to make my head believe that!
My stress levels are so bad right now, my children I worry about daily, I know they are grown but dang a mother never stops worrying! He is in a bad place mentally and has no outlet to get it off his chest. He has struggled for years and its so hard as a mom not to be able to take that pain away. I just pray he never goes through with it, I don't know what I would do, but I digress that's another story all together. Back to me, I will succeed I have to believe!
Live Laugh Love I always say Peace Love Joy!

I'm my own worse enemy!

I made it through the day yesterday, day 2 on my new eating plan. I would say all in all it was so hard to do. I have such a hard time with sweets, ugh, I just wanted chocolate sooo bad! I know it was my crazy food-enticed mind playing tricks on me. I'm my worse enemy when it comes to food.

I love food, adore food, want sweet yummy food. I took a step back several times yesterday and asked myself, Is it worth it? Is it worth the added weight? The added mental stress from failing again come weigh-in time? Is it worth feeling like a failure? It all led up to one answer NO!

I'm worth trying my hardest for, I'm worth feeling good about my appearance, I'm worth feeling like I can do anything I put my mind to.

Positive affirmation:

I woke up today feeling a whole lot better, cravings are getting better, my shortness with people, a little better. I cant believe I feel so bad when deleting bad things out of my eating plan. Wow, is my word for that, dang I can be a mega bitch when I don't eat chocolate and have my Dew!

I want to live a compassionate life full of adventure and fun, I cant do that if I'm stuck in bed overweight and in pain from my Fibromyalgia!

I will get to this next level of this diet protocol I'm on, it takes 60 straight days to see its benefits on my body(concerning fibro), so 58 days left to go!

 I want so bad to wake up one day and feel no pain what so ever, oh what a blessed day that will be. I'm putting all my faith into this diet protocol. It has to work!

So onto another day, I'm going to try and get out for a walk today. Its been a while, Ive been so sore and tired I have no energy. I hope it helps get me back on track, like I said yesterday, I WILL run again!

Peace Love Joy

Weigh-in day!

Another week down the toilet!
Just seems like I cant get my head out my butt and get in gear. I know what I need to do to lose but I still keep reaching for junk.
So yesterday after 4 days of food binging I started eating good. Well today was weigh-in even though I didn't gain I didn't lose either. I know that if I gave this weight loss effort a chance I would succeed!
So why is it I always sabotage myself? I just cant understand? I feel like just giving up but if I do I know my body will give up and I wont be there for the ones I love.
They mean the world to me I need to do this.
So my plan for this week is to not cheat at all. I will follow my plan and stick to it. I will exercise at least if its only a few minutes at a time(as my fibro-body allows).
My challenge for today:

drink drink and drink some more -------------}

I'm so bad when it comes to drinking my water, it is hard for me because I truly forget to drink. I want to do this, I want to succeed at losing the rest of my weight. I want to be free of this body that keeps me at a stand still in life. No more! Not I! I WILL DO THIS!
Peace Love Joy!

Fibro Haze!

What a trap in a body I am in. Everyday I struggle with this silent disease, sometimes keeping it to my self so as I don't seem like a hypcondriac to others. Some days the pain is so intense I scream and cry, but only when I'm alone. I hate to put my burden on others, you see I have always been the strong one, the one who people gets strength from,not to hear all my boo hos.
I want so bad to run again, I cant tell you how much I miss it. I want to run free and feel like I can do anything. You know I will do it again I just have to get my body on board.
The past few week's I have been feeling myself slip back in to the depths of fibro, those who have it know all to well what I mean. Its like a title wave has come and washed my ability away to function like a "normal" person.
I hate this feeling, makes me so angry, about as angry at I get at my weight issue.
This robber of my days is getting stronger and I'm feeling weaker as the days go on. I once was told I wouldn't walk by the time I was 40, well this year I turned 40 and though it is hard some days, I do walk still. My goal from when I got told was to run for my 40th b-day, this has come and gone in Feb. So I failed that, my body betrayed me again. People say well at least you are still walking, they have no clue, I'm the type that when someone says you cant I prove  can.
So with this said I'm making a pact with myself, I know I wont make my dream of running a Marathon for my 40th I will run a race by the end of running season, I will!
I will "WILL" my body to give me this one gift I can treasure when all my functions leave me. I want to run again before I can never again. Please Lord hear my prayers, please!
So onto training for my dream, Peace Love Joy!r

Why Why Why?? I dont know why I can never do it?

I have come to the conclusion, I have a hard time finishing what I start!
They say men are bad? Well they haven't met me!
I keep wondering why I'm like this? Not just with things I start on the house, but with food issues also.
I start going strong one week, then fail the next. I start one morning, and by night my head is stuck in the fridge!
I have to start being accountable for my actions, I feel like a naughty kid sometimes hiding my binges. I just hate it.
I started this hypoglycemic diet this past week and at first I was determined, I read about all the benefits I would receive, but again I failed.
The diet said stay on with no cheats for 2 months straight, and you will feel a ton better, (I have fibro and its one of the diets recommended for me), nope not! I failed again, I always do with food. I have no self control, dam mind, dam food!
So here we are, another party, and I know more temptations are around the corner. I know I will fail, I always do, I just have to figure this out it's driving me mad in the head he he!
So challenge for today:

Every time I eat a bad item I have to do one rep of exercise of choice

Have  blessed weekend and Happy Mothers Day!

Ohh another weigh-in down the toilet...

Another one bites the dust, weigh-in day that is. I can not count how many times I have stepped on that scale and felt sheer pressure and disappointment, some days I would love to throw that dam thin right out the window(but I know I would just go outside and bring it back in) but the knowing my weight helps me stay focused and from gaining tons of weight.
You see I'm the type of person who dilly dawdles around and realizes dang weigh -in is 2 days away and its crunch time watch what I eat etc, why the rest of the 5 days I'm acting as though I'm on vacation not caring what goes in my mouth?
I keep searching for a cure a fix to all my problems and weight issues, I'm on the constant search for diet aids, magazines, web articles, anything that helps me in this journey to weight loss and what I perceive a beautiful life.
I keep doing this and wonder sometimes why? Why bother, I have the tools, mor than so many, but I just don't implement them. I have the knowledge, I think enough to write my own book, to complete any diet out there. So why do I keep falling short of my goals?
I feel like I self sabotage, if I feel like my weight loss is effecting someone in a negative manner I go ahead (mentally) and give up and eat what ever. If I see my weight loss is changing my outside and I get to much attention, I self sabotage and revert to my same old habits.
The trick, I fear, is to overcome the mental part of weight loss and the rest will follow. Now how do I do that you say? Not sure if I knew the answer I would be shopping right now for a size 5 jeans with a white flowing top and heals to boot :)
So onto reflecting daily and making better choices.
Today's challenge:

DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER!

SO MY BEST TO YOU AND YOURS

PEACE Love Joy

Slip on a banana peel you say...

You slipped again and you are feeling down? Like you just couldn't go a few days without having a meltdown? Man join the crowd, I was talking with my little sis and we both had some slips. It was nice to be able to talk to her and know I am not the only one in this rocking boat.
Some days I just feel like I'm going out of my mind thinking of food. What to eat, what not to eat, what is healthy, what is a portion, is this food really good for me? So many choices, so many set ups for failure.
I cant tell you how many magazines I've read, how many sites on the web I've scanned. It all boils down to one thing, healthy whole food with treats in moderation and exercise = a healthy life,mind,body,soul. Nothing more, nothing less.
The trick is the mind battle that rages inside all of us, this nagging feeling of want and need of yummy food to help relieve the pains of the day. Oh how I would love a turn off switch for that!
So on with it, come on Shawn get on with getting healthy, you have the tools use them...
OK enough self talk, I will succeed I know I will.
Peace Love Joy

YOU ARE IN CHARGE!

Everyday you have the decision to make the best out of your day.
I, (most days), start off on the right foot, but by night I'm all over the place. I try to stay on the right track with my eating but at night man it hits me. I feel like eating the whole fridge tell yeah!
When I thought I'd never get out of this cycle of night time binges here comes my saving grace. A book about people living with Fibro. I was like, oh no another book, I know I will read and learn not a dang thing. Well I read the book, well I should say Im reading the book, and I've already implemented the diet starting on May 3rd. The first phase of the diet is strict but for some odd reason I'm doing good? I don't have the cravings to binge at night, mind you the first day on this my body was not happy with the withdraws, but I'm doing it. I cant believe in just a few short days I'm feeling really good about this. Like other fad diets this isnt one of them, this is a way of eating for life for me, the book promices that in 2 months I will feel less pain, so I marked that date as July 3rd 2012, I should feel like a new woman.
For those who dont know me I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and a host of issues steaming from that diagnosis, 13 years ago. In those 13 years Ive had my moments of being disabled both mentally and physically. Ive seen a million and one Dr's all perscribing different meds, till one day I took charge and said no more! I took back my life and got off 12 different meds and now Im only on vitamins and food.
I will not give up this fight! I'm in charge here!
 Though I feel like I'm getting better at excepting what I have to live with until I pass and go onto a new place, I still have a battle raging inside me. The battle with obesity. I will not let it win, and for over 20 years we have been at war. I will be in charge of my destinty and I dont want it filled with healthcare issues that steam from my eating behaviors.
So onto a new chapter in my life, Im excited to see how I feel come July, Im excited to feel less pain and do things Ive been wanting to do for years.
My best to my friends in cyber world and may today bring you many blessings!

Good of day as any to start again!

So here I go again and I hope I will have support this time.
I do think it is so helpful to have that in life, someone to confide in and share with even if it is people in cyber world. I have to grab all the help I need at this time. Its been a long and crazy process trying to lose these unwanted lbs. I'm determined to do so!
When I was watching the B.L. they had a show with the First Lady on it. She wanted us to join this group online and track exercise days and the winner won a gym for there community(not us the player we joined under) and the one I joined was Kim's, she is just awesome! I think its weird though because in the beginning I just didn't care for her but as the shows passed I grew more and more fond of her. Why you ask? Because she reminded me that all of us has demons we try and hide from try to pretend are not there. She put her mind to it and said you know what I don't care if I make friends I'm doing this for me and mine. I like that kind of spunk!
So these past few days have been good, I started reading this new book that helps people with Fibro, its good so far. I started the diet it listed and said my pains should be next to nothing within 2 months, we will see? I'm not fond of the food choices but anything to be out of the pain I'm in. I also went to lunch with my little sis yesterday, it was the end of our 10 week challenge, she won. I wasn't to worried I knew I was going to gain and not lose, I just didn't feel like I had the WANT in me. We had a great talk and decided to do another but 8 week challenge this time. I'm excited because I now have the WANT to do this. I read this book and it was like God himself put this in my hands to know I'm not in this battle alone. So onto new days I will be posting daily on here please feel free to write and comment and let me know some topics you want to discuss, and also if you want to join the weekly challenge I would love that :)
peace out to all my cyber friends til next time...

Diet O' No NOT ANOTHER DIET!

I'm so tired of hearing about people wanting to go on another fad-diet, this includes myself!
I hear about this way and that way to eat, I get all reved up on a diet and it always ends with me being in a sugar binge because of restrictions I put upon myself. Ive seen it time and time again, I hear someone going on a fad diet so they can lose a quick five pounds. They don't realize come this weekend when they binge on there favorite junk-fair those pounds come right back and sometimes even leading to more. I call this the roller coaster of diets that lead to know where!

So is it worth it? Is it worth the long term  effect it has not only to your waistline but to your insides.
I know I want to get off this coaster and get a handle on my eating habits. The only way I see it after so many books and years of fighting this demon is through whole foods. Yes, whole foods! This is what God intended for us to eat and provided us the tools to use our minds to make good food out of whole foods.
It doesn't have to be boring and thinking you cant make your favorite dinner, snacks, etc. You can make tons of different yummy dishes. We all have access to the Internet look up and great recipe and make it with all whole-foods.
 So tomorrow is my weigh in and so I will do whole foods for now on. I cant take the chance on never completing this, I need to complete this. Ive spent to long not being the best me and all along it was in me.
So onto a new week with great new recipes on my horizon!

Today's  challenge:
Find 3 recipes and send them to someone
Have a blessed night

Breaking bad habits~ Did you skip Breakfast?

Today we will talk about breakfast, to me this is so very hard to get in. I get up race around getting everything done for everyone around me and I forget to eat until all of a sudden my sugar drops and I feel ill.  I end up grabbing some thing quick and usually sugary. When my blood sugar drops my body naturally screams for sugar to replace what I'm missing, I need to learn to listen to my body. 

 I know for many over weight people this is a set up for a bad day.

 We think if we skip meals and go on fad diets this will help us lose weight. We don't step back and realize it is harming us in so many ways.

 This past week I have eaten breakfast and I'm so surprised how fast my body started telling me I needed it, see before I never was hungry till late afternoon and that's usually when my sugar would drop really low. I didn't realize after so many years skipping breakfast I was creating a bad habit that in the long run would jeopardize my weight loss goals.

It takes so many days to create a good habit or delete a bad habit so with this said this is my challenge for you today.

Make a list of what you will have for breakfast for the next seven days and post it on

Weekly Challenge Group

So go out today and create good habits and be a blessing to someone :)

Habits

This week I'm going to work on habits. We have every moment of every day filled with habits. Some of these habits we don't even really know we are doing. So today I want you to pull out that journal and 1: list in there habits you want to change 2. list how you will change them 3. for the rest of this week I need you to place a erase board on your fridge.

Everyday this week you will write (for all to see) what ever you put in your mouth.

LIST EVERYTHING!

lick,suck,taste,nibble, what have you, if it enters your mouth list it!

Today's challenge:

Do something fun for you, massage,nails, what ever makes you feel beautiful.

Have a blessed day and Ill talk with you tomorrow!

Remember the more we acknowledge our habits the better it is, like the saying goes if you know better you will do better!

Scrapbook

                                                                  

Welcome to day 7!!

One whole week did you do all of it? I hope so because every time we complete a task its one step into making our goals a reality.
I want you to take all the journal entries and place them in the scrapbook.
I'm really looking forward to seeing or hearing about every ones progress this week.
When making your scrapbook really reflect back at this weeks journal entries and look at those pictures. I want you to reflect on what you ave learned and remind yourself every moment you can that, "YOU ARE WORTH IT"!!


Today's challenge:
Do something active with the family


Things you will need for this coming week:
Dry erase board
Journal
Scrapbook
Have a blessed weekend and go enjoy that family!

Let Down

Welcome to day 6!!

Today I want you to go get out that journal again and write down 5 times you felt let down last year. Be it yourself or someone in your life. You don't have to name names but just write down the event that made you feel let down. Then beside that I want you to write down the things that happen as a result to that event and how you dealt with it.

In order to not make past mistakes we need to confront them head on and learn from them and then let it go!

So many times in our lives we come across people that will say a snide remark and  it puts you in a tail spin once you hit that kitchen! Words are powerful and can hurt, the actions you take because of the hurt can change you be it good or bad, the choice is yours!

You can take the words/actions of another person and use it to motivate you or you can choice to be pissy and let them rule the rest of the day with a big binge on food. Again in the end the choice is yours. I heard a lady say the other day, "When you let someone live in your mind free its one day to long, its time to evict". This is so true, you cant harp on their words it will eat up and in the end you are the one hurt not them. Don't give anyone the power to make you feel bad to, be the best you!

YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE!

Today's challenge is:

Do one thing you never did or had before be it food or exercise

Go out and have a blessed day and remember the tongue is sharp don't cut anyone!

Inspiration!

Welcome to day 5!!!

Today I want you to get that famous journal of yours out and fill a page with people who inspire you. List the names and the stories behind them, if it isn't a person that inspired you then write down a belief that inspired you. Why did they inspire you?

I get my inspiration from all over, t.v. magazines, web, people in my life, now what I do with that inspiration is on me. I can say wow, that's so awesome, I would love to be like that or you can take that inspiration and let it guide you into making the changes needed to become what you want in life. The choice is always yours.

 I have come across so many who have said I just cant be like that, in my family we are all big, I cant be fit its in my genes to be fat. I say NO! You might have a family that's big but and yes genes do play a factor but just because its in your heritage doesn't mean its your destiny. We all have a choice everyday to make the decision to pile that food in your mouth and sit there hour after hour. You can make the choice to put you first and say, I'm worth not burying my feelings in a pile of food. Take inspiration from others (including yourself) and use it to motivate you in the right directions. You can always make a excuses, BUT REALLY, who is it hurting!

My challenge for you today is to complete 20 sit ups 3x's today!

So go out there and inspire and be inspired

Proud Moments

Welcome to day 4!

Today I want you to take out that journal of yours and write down all the proud moments you have had this past year.
Really pour that heart out and give yourself a good pat on the back!

                We need to start treating ourselves with pride so we can see the pride in others.

The love we give is usually hand in hand with the love we are shown. Sometimes we are so busy trying to change others and fix what you think is broken. You don't realize that nothing was broken but the view you seen. If you don't step back sometimes in life you will find yourself missing the boat. Like that saying goes:

Today was my normal weigh-in day and I'm so proud to say I'm down 4.3 lbs from last weigh-in!
The thing I did differently this week was to be accountable. I made my fears, anxieties, wants know. I'm not swallowing it any more!  I wanted to sink into bad habits, but my lovely wife reminded me of my wants and told me it was OK she would be there to remind me of my goals and how bad I wanted it. If I never would have sat down and been honest about my food struggles she would have never known to help me out. She would have went to the store and bought me that calorie filled soda. That's where pride plays a roll, we are to prideful to let others know we are not in control. We want to fix it ourselves but we cant!  So be open and ask for help, with out it you will not have accountability, with accountability you will think twice about that donut. It is so easy for ourselves to have a battle of wills. We will talk to ourselves into eating that donut, making excuses on why it will be OK, making bargains with ourselves to make it OK to go ahead and eat it. When you make yourself accountable to another person you will think twice about it or you can have them help you get over that feeling at the moment. I'm so blessed my wife said to me, you don't need that soda, remember your goal. So I'm proud to say this week was a great loss in lbs!! WOOT WOOT pat on my back.

My challenge for you today is:
get all your water in !!
That simple but so hard sometimes. I have been drinking so much more and I can tell a difference already.
So go into the world today and make it a blessed one!!

Road Blocks

Welcome to day 3!!
How is it going? Don't fall on your road block!
 This road we are traveling is going to be long and full of blocks. So how are you going to get over the blocks you ask? Well one foot in front of the other and when you come upon a block I want you to reach out and ask for help over it!

So today's task is for you to make a list of road blocks that you have had in the past, be true to yourself and don't hold back!
This will be done in your journal.



The things that tie you bind you! Let them be known so you can heal and let go. I know some times as  women we are faced with so many different types of road blocks in our lives. We go through life on auto pilot. We forget about ourselves and we tend to put others first. Guess what? We were made like that, we are nurturers, mothers,wives,sisters,daughters,aunts,grandmas, etc. We are many things to many people. Now comes the time to figure out what we want as woman. Not to be scared to ask for what we need! I stress this so much, when you lose yourself the rest of your life is sure to follow. So go out today and be kind to you like you are to others, you will find it gives you joy so in turn you will spread the joy!

Challenge for today:
Every time you open the fridge today I want you to do 10 side leg lifts. Each leg!

Have a blessed day and for some inspiration I want you to watch biggest Loser tonight!! Woot Woot!

Note To Self

Welcome to Day 2, I hope all is good and you got through the first day happy and well!!

Today is all about YOU! I want you to write you a note to self. In this note I want you to be free to write all your disappointments and reasons you feel like you have failed in the past.
This will be done in your journal.



With this said I want to share something. I was scared at first to share with you all but I figure in this journey of mine I needed to be free of the burden to get to where I want to be. Honesty is best when you are honest with yourself.
 I was watching a show the other night and I had a AHA moment. It was very interesting I do believe all things happens for a reason. I couldn't figure out why am I watching this show? It was about starving to death, people with anorexia and bulimia. I was in awe because guess what I'm no better. I have come to the conclusion I have a eating disorder and I was blind to it. I always claimed I had a weight problem and for the past 20 years have been filled with , throwing up, diet pills, water pills, detox pills, food restriction, food binges, crazy off the wall diets, and now my body is paying the price. I caught myself planning my restriction day for Jan 1, I figured good excuse I can get away with not eating all day, then I watched the show, like I said everything happens for a reason. I have hypoglycemia and I ended up in the 60's I feel back on my couch and asked my wife to make me something I felt like I was going to faint. I sat there and thought about that show. It was like a light bulb went off and I said I'm restricting again, and the next time it might cost me my life. I truly believe the show was sent to me that day to wake me up. As I went shopping that day I kept going along with the crazy thoughts I have, don't get that its to fattening, get this I can binge later, OMG I was actually realizing I'm a person with a eating disorder.
This is the first time I have made it open, I just told my wife last night about my hidden little secret. I was ashamed but she just said hun anything I can do to help, she said she thought I had a problem after she found all my pills for detox, weight loss, etc. She said she was scared to make me upset so she didn't say anything.
In order for me to figure out why I do these things I need to reflect and really be honest with everyone in my life and in turn I hope to help others. I will ask for help when I need it and I will keep myself accountable.

Challenge for today:
(on top of you fitness plan you made yourself yesterday)
Every time you eat "so called junk" do 10 squats

Now go out there and have a blessed day!

Reflections

Welcome to day one girls!

We are blessed to make it another year!
 I know I'm blessed I made it another year. This year is a significant one for me, I turn the big 40! Yikes! But seriously I have been battling this weight demon longer than 20 years and I need to take a big step back and reflect.
Reflect on the past choices, on times I succeeded, times I failed and figure out why is it I'm not obtaining what I want so bad, to be healthy and fit.
So with this coming week I will post 7 days of things I need you to do with me, daily challenges, etc. All will be on the subject of reflections. So on to another year, hope you join me.

Day One

Measure~Picture~Weight

Bucket List

Things you will need for this week:

Journal

Scrapbook

 Measure

 arm,leg,waist

This will be used in your scrapbook

Picture

This will be used in your scrapbook

Weight

This will be used in your scrapbook

Bucket List

Write10 things for this New Year

you want to accomplish

This will be logged in your journal

When you get your scrapbook I want you to really take this seriously.

Reflections are coming and if we are to learn and grow we must open our eyes to the past. Heal and learn to let it go.

The choice will always be yours!

In this scrapbook I want you to make the first page your start page

On the start page I want you to place picture of yourself from today

Jan 1, 2012

Make it a 5x7

Around your picture I want you to place your weight and measurements

Make it awesome, use your imagination, and when you are doing this tell that person looking back at you goodbye and hello to the new you!!

(scrapbook will be used through out the 31 days)

Now in your journal I want you to label it Bucket list

Write down 10 things you want to accomplish this year

list 10 ways you will accomplish the 10 things

(journal will be used through out the 31 days)

Challenge for you today:

 Write down a 31 day fitness plan for yourself

I know it seems a lot for the first day but remember a house will fall without a good frame!

So go out today and make it a blessed day!