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Friday, July 4, 2014

I fell off the wagon!


This past month has been a dozy for me. I just haven't been feeling well and in bad moods a lot. I just felt out of control and in turn I did the only thing my brain knows how to do, feed my emotions with food. I can not blame it on one single person or event, I just have myself to blame because I knew better, I just chose what felt good to me at that moment. Now I'm up 3.8 lbs from June 1st, and I'm not a happy camper. I'm over the pain of invisible diseases and this weight problem I have!



It is funny how it just creeps up on you, a lb here, a lb there, before you know it you are up 5 lbs. It is so hard to always worry about what goes in your mouth. I just wish I could be one of those people who can just eat and never gain an ounce. 
It hit me like a brick this week when I went to get dolled up for a date with my love, we were going to dinner and a concert. I had to have went through countless pretty numbers and just felt like a stuffed sausage in everyone of them :( to me this was crushing, one of my fav things to do is dress up. So I kind of just blew it off a minute and said I wasn't going to let that get me down. I did how ever several times through out dinner I thought dam these pants are tight. I need to get a grip and watch what I eat, (as I shoveled in my fat laden food into my mouth) yeah I watched it go into my mouth at dinner lol.
When we arrive at the concert I totally had forgotten this weight issue that was paging my mind. I was enjoying the people watching as we waited in line. I love seeing all sorts of different back ground and all shapes and sizes of people. I couldn't help but notice a lot of people my age are so over weight and jolly about it, well it seemed they was, who knows if they feel the same as I? But any who, I was thinking what makes us as we get older just not care? Even the group's lead singer, I was there to see, was over weight!

Then as I was getting all comfortable in my chair I see this:

My heart broke for her! She couldn't fit into the chair and stayed perched like that through out the show. It took me back to a dark place when I too couldn't fit into a ride at the carnival, I was so embarrassed and had to get off the ride. I remember my daughters face and the look she gave was like no other. I remember that being one of the defining reasons I started my weight loss journey. Now 80 lbs down I still feel like the picture above. I still obsess with saggy skin, not having jeans fit right because of it. But its moments like this I remember how far I have come and makes me feel grateful I got to get up at that concert and shake my tush, and the best part, I fit into the seat!



So when you feel like a failure because you ate that cheese cake, just remember how far you have come and where you want to be. Do not stop because you feel like you just cant deal, press on an know this too shall pass. Here are 10 ways to help stay on the wagon:


Refocus, commit!!
 Have a blessed 4th of July and be good too you!
Shawn