Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Ohh another weigh-in down the toilet...

Another one bites the dust, weigh-in day that is. I can not count how many times I have stepped on that scale and felt sheer pressure and disappointment, some days I would love to throw that dam thin right out the window(but I know I would just go outside and bring it back in) but the knowing my weight helps me stay focused and from gaining tons of weight.
You see I'm the type of person who dilly dawdles around and realizes dang weigh -in is 2 days away and its crunch time watch what I eat etc, why the rest of the 5 days I'm acting as though I'm on vacation not caring what goes in my mouth?
I keep searching for a cure a fix to all my problems and weight issues, I'm on the constant search for diet aids, magazines, web articles, anything that helps me in this journey to weight loss and what I perceive a beautiful life.
I keep doing this and wonder sometimes why? Why bother, I have the tools, mor than so many, but I just don't implement them. I have the knowledge, I think enough to write my own book, to complete any diet out there. So why do I keep falling short of my goals?
I feel like I self sabotage, if I feel like my weight loss is effecting someone in a negative manner I go ahead (mentally) and give up and eat what ever. If I see my weight loss is changing my outside and I get to much attention, I self sabotage and revert to my same old habits.
The trick, I fear, is to overcome the mental part of weight loss and the rest will follow. Now how do I do that you say? Not sure if I knew the answer I would be shopping right now for a size 5 jeans with a white flowing top and heals to boot :)
So onto reflecting daily and making better choices.
Today's challenge:

PEACE Love Joy

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