Monday, May 14, 2012

Fibro Haze!

What a trap in a body I am in. Everyday I struggle with this silent disease, sometimes keeping it to my self so as I don't seem like a hypcondriac to others. Some days the pain is so intense I scream and cry, but only when I'm alone. I hate to put my burden on others, you see I have always been the strong one, the one who people gets strength from,not to hear all my boo hos.
I want so bad to run again, I cant tell you how much I miss it. I want to run free and feel like I can do anything. You know I will do it again I just have to get my body on board.
The past few week's I have been feeling myself slip back in to the depths of fibro, those who have it know all to well what I mean. Its like a title wave has come and washed my ability away to function like a "normal" person.
I hate this feeling, makes me so angry, about as angry at I get at my weight issue.
This robber of my days is getting stronger and I'm feeling weaker as the days go on. I once was told I wouldn't walk by the time I was 40, well this year I turned 40 and though it is hard some days, I do walk still. My goal from when I got told was to run for my 40th b-day, this has come and gone in Feb. So I failed that, my body betrayed me again. People say well at least you are still walking, they have no clue, I'm the type that when someone says you cant I prove  can.
So with this said I'm making a pact with myself, I know I wont make my dream of running a Marathon for my 40th I will run a race by the end of running season, I will!
I will "WILL" my body to give me this one gift I can treasure when all my functions leave me. I want to run again before I can never again. Please Lord hear my prayers, please!
So onto training for my dream, Peace Love Joy!r

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