Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Another one bites the dust....a week that is, no lbs.

So this last week was a dozy, I ended up gaining over 2 lbs. !!
I tried following these fad diets, these so called best for weight-loss diets and none of them have lasting results for me. I have been craving tons of sugar, my sweet tooth is at large! So I need to get this under control.
I'm in the same position I started back in January! I let the struggles of life get the better of me and I did not put me first. Not to say I didn't try a lot, I have to say its been a lot more than years before. I just give up so quick and feel like all this is for nothing some times.
 Last night I had awoken to the most awful pain in my throat, why do I do this to myself? It was 4am and I was throwing up my guts, again I have eaten something before bed that was horrid on my tummy in the middle of the night. My bodies reaction = throw up this shi! This is the second time in a week I have gotten sick because I indulged on foods I shouldn't.
It is a viscous cycle of eat good foods during the day, binge at night. I'm on a roller coaster going no where but a full circle of deprivation and binges. I'm in full blown eating disorder! I need to get off this and just live to be happy. I cant let the fear of the unknown lead me back to the place I'm comforted with. What I mean by this is fear will lead me away from being fit because the fear of being fit will lead to I don't know??? I'm comfortable with being fat because I have no expectations of me and of myself so I stay in that mode. Some times to get where we need to be we need to be uncomfortable!
 I cant let food control my every thought and waking moment. I cant always be in a frenzy asking myself, is this food good for me, is this Paleo enough, is this carb ok with this protein. I just need to find a healthy balance for my body. Not what is good for others I don't even know. So this week my goal is to not worry about this fad diet or that one. I will make and tweak my own. I will start a log and see the progression this next week.
My workouts this past week I completed:
miles ran week total = 11.477
Have to get back to cross training but was kind of lazy this past week
My Goal for this week =
Make a healthy balance in life for myself
My inspiration for this coming week:

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