Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Excuses, excuses!!

I have made excuses all my life, be it for me or someone I love.
Its funny some days when I get these light-balb moments! I know that I have to be the one who changes. I get mad some days wen I get told, do this, do that, and guess who I take it out on? ME!! I eat wat ever dont exercise and I wonder why I dont lose weight? I know why I dont lose, its a matter of getting te "want" back.
In earlier blogs Ive writted all about sabotage and what I need to do. I just cant seem to have te "want". Today I woke up and talked to my mom, she was letting me know my sister had a great time (as in tick tock time) running a 5k yesterday. One second I'm feeling so happy for her then in the next moment I was jealous. As most of you know I suffer from Fobro and its taking its toll on me mentally and physically. I so bad to do those tings, I want to run and be free ( in my head when I run), I love to run and exercise, oh how I miss it.
So I need to get in gear, last few days I just ave been in the "I dont give a flip" mode. I looked at the calendar and realized the challenge myself and my sister have is almost done! Next wed we are to weigh-in and see wo won, I know already it wasnt me! I have even gained, Im so dissapointed in myself!
I have to start putting me first, I always put others in front of ME! So no more excuses lets kick some ass this week Shawn!!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Another day passed and no rewards

Its been a long time coming and I need to get with the program. I just cant seem to have the want to lose this weight.
Last night I even dreamed of how great it felt to lose weight and ware nice clothes. I just want to be the old me, care free and with a big smile all the time.
As the days pass I feel more and more heavy, not just in weight but also in my spirit. I want to regain the fight I once had and not go down this path every week.
Every wed. I weigh-in and jot down my weight in my book, that's if I feel like it. Then I get so upset at another wasted week gone and no real loss of weight, I have never completed a whole week on a diet or any plan for that matter. I just cant seem to follow through. But that seems to be the story of my life, never complete a dang gone thing!
So what should I do? I hate this feeling of just not caring but also caring, know what I mean? I care that I need to lose weight, but I don't care to give up my favorite foods.
Funny thing is a lot of my favorite foods are now becoming my tummies worse enemy, by that I mean my stomach cant handle to much fried foods or spicy so it takes a lot of things that once was my trigger foods to now not. But the downside to this is I have become more apt to eat sweats instead. I love love love sweats oh yeah did I say I LOVE SWEATS! I adore the way they make my mouth sing!
I always hear it doesn't taste as good as skinny but I tell you its been a long time since I've been skinny and not to long ago I tasted sweats, so in my minds eye there is no contest here in the short term of thing. I need to make it to skinny so I know how that taste, he-he!
So again I'm back on this journey, I will try to write daily :)
Peace Love Joy