All the balls must stay in the air!

As we are heading into spring I find myself wondering if I will make my goal by summer? I get so focused on the future I forget to relish the here and now. I cant let myself forget to be happy with what I have accomplished now and still work for what I desire.

I have been working out at-least 5-6 times a week for the past year. Even when I fractured my foot and wear a boot cast for 6 weeks, pulled out my shoulder and had to do rehab, was diagnosed with early onset dementia. 

I stayed focused and I really feel committed to being the best me. I have some in my life that just don't get that. They will say things like you look fine the way you are. You don't need to work out so hard. I think you  are over doing it.

Well I don't have time for that foolish talk. The one thing I took away from all the struggles of 2014 is that I'm stronger then I ever gave myself credit for, and I know I can make it through anything. I will not let this weight issue of mine win.

end of 2013

Feb 2015

I'm excited to see where my journey takes me :) 

I know one day I will not remember this girl I see in this pic, bu for now I will keep those balls in the air juggling as long as I can. When the day comes when I can no longer move, or remember, I will have these pictures to reflect back on, and I hope have someone to tell me abut this strong willed woman in these pics. 

Don't forget to journal your journey through pictures and letters, blogs, you name it. When you are gone this is your legacy. What will be your legacy? 

I know mine is to let woman out there know, no matter the issue that faces you in life, you can do anything you have put your heart and soul into. 

So get out of your own way and let yourself find happiness you deserve. Do not take time and wait because tomorrow is not promised!

peace~health~happiness

~SHAWN~

Non-scale victories- Dont forget about them...

As a person who does this quit often, I forget to look at my non-scale victories. I get caught up in the number that looks back at me when I step on the scale every morning. I don't give myself credit where credit is due. So I will share a few victories I had today while at the gym.

My first non-scale victory was when I set my PR on the dead lift. I lifted 130 lbs.! I was so pumped and I just couldn't believe I managed to do 3 sets of 6! The first thing that came to my mind was the fear of not being able to lift that much, my next fear was I didn't want to pull my back out. That would cost me a lot of work and training time if I did that, but I decided, why not just try. So I did and with great pleasure in my accomplishment, it almost made me choke up and cry.

My next non-scale victory, which to some might sound weird, but to those who can relate will understand my point. My butt reached my feet! I actually can sit on my feet now when doing this stretch. I could never do that before because my big gut would get in the way. I was so excited I had to take a pic hehehe.

So when the going gets hard, don't follow, just keep consistent in working out. Don't let time run away from you, because before you know it, your old and mark my words the regrets will be great.
So no time like the present....GET MOVING!!

peace~health~happiness
~SHAWN~

That is a wrap!

Many people today will wake up and say to themselves, dam another year down and I still haven't reached my goal! Are you one of them? I know I am. I made a goal to reach a certain # on the scale by December 31st 2014. I had a few set backs, but I did manage to come close. I feel different then the person January 1st 2014. I dropped a few sized, gained a lot of muscle, and learned a lot about myself.

Though I didn't reach my goal, I did find the person whom I have been trying to find all these years. 

I learned all though my body some days wont let me move, I get up and move. I don't let those head demons win, I know no matter what my body will hurt, and I cant let that be an excuses to not hit the gym. One day, one step, one breath at a time I managed to get rid of this baggage the past year:

40+ of these!!!

This picture is worth so many words! I still catch myself looking at my refection in the mirror, or a store window. I just cant wrap my mind around it some times. One thing I do know is I never want to go back to that old person who thought she would never be healthy again:

I love who I'm becoming:

So no matter where you are, where you use to be, or where you want to go, know this, you can and you will, but it takes you and only you to do it.

Shout out to another big loser this year:

My niece Felicia Fortine:

I didnt have a full size one of her because she hasnt been here to do one, but as you can see by her face she has changed a ton and she did reach her goal to be in onderland this year :) ! Awesome job kiddo!! Keep up the great work, Im so fricken proud of you!! You had such a hard year losing your dad and all but you managed to keep those lbs away and keep on trying to be the best y. Dont let no one or thing get in your way, I know you will accomplish great things in your life. 

Now what are you going to do this coming year? Stay the same <====? or head the other direction===>?

peace,health,happiness

~SHAWN~

open eyes can see

The past few months have been a real test of will and determination for me. When I fractured my foot and hurt my shoulder, I thought to myself, now how am I going to keep losing this weight? I, for the past year, put all my efforts into running as a form of not only weight loss, but a sense of freedom I get while running. I thought how am I going to use my new found therapy, if I cant workout?
Then one day while reading my thousandth magazine on weight loss, I came to the realization, hello Shawn, you are a C.P.T. what the hell! Use this knowledge of cross training, and training with disabilities and keep moving. Train yourself!
I dove head in and read anything about weight training, strength training, cross training, and cardio for people with foot issues. I watched YouTube videos and learned, if I just open my eyes, I will see clearly what I need to do to still work toward my goals even though I have disabilities. This video gave me inspiration:


http://youtu.be/ytWUtvzaBeg

 

When you just diet and do one form of workout, you miss so many benefits of weight bearing exercises. I cant express enough once you open your eyes to that, your fitness will change dramatically. As we diet and don't utilize weight bearing exercises in our weekly activities, we end up with a dreaded look of sag. You must fill that sag with muscle, and you need to get that by some form of weight training. No I'm not saying become a body builder, or bulk up like the Hulk, I'm just saying it will help that sagging skin dramatically, by filling that left over skin with some muscle your body takes on a whole new appearance. 

Look at that Picture above, look at all those benefits. So in this journey we are taking to lose weight, let us not forget, its not just about the weight loss, but the main loss we want is the dreaded FAT loss!

So open them eyes up and see!

peace,health,happiness

~SHAWN~

 

 

Goals goals and more goals....

As the years pass  I became an expert on excuses, and why my weight just wasn't budging. I said it was medication I was taking, I was sore from arthritis and Fibro, I just didn't have time to workout, I had kids to take care of, you name it I thunk it and said it. What changed? Me, I just cant stand to sit back and lose another decade to obesity, as well as losing my life over a dam piece of junk food. I had to really dig deep and figure out what was my triggers etc, I will dive more into it in another blog.
This one I want to focus on goals. It doesn't have to be a grand goal, just little baby ones to get you to that grand one. I set my goals very little because in the past I was a all or nothing type of gal, If say I didn't obtain a goal when time was up, I would just beat myself up about it, and in the end gain more weight then when I started. What a viscous cycle isn't it?!
This past goal was to get to another pants #, when I started this journey a few decades ago my pant size was a 28. I still cant believe I was that big, I was such an expert camouflage girl, always was good at that, until this day people always say I didn't think you were that big, guess I wore it well. But #'s don't lie, I was 260 lb size 28 wearing young woman.
Well this morning on the way to the gym, I remembered I forgot to bring my pants, I knew I had a client to take care of today, so I went to store. I grabbed real quick a 12, but then I took a step back and said, well for giggles Im going to try on a 10. Well hot diggidy dog they fit!!

 If you never had a weight problem you just wont get it!

I did a little dance in the dressing area and I have to say first time I left smiling. I just kept looking at myself thinking holy crap is this me? I haven't been this size for a few decades! I cant say it enough, you can do what ever you put your mind too, you just have to believe it and stop listening to those little voices that say you cant.

If I can do it anyone can!!

So my next goal:

hit 160 by Dec 31st 2014

Lets do this!!

 

 

It is all up to you, you are the author of your story...Make it a grand one!!

peace, health, happiness

~SHAWN~

 

Dont give up!

I will no longer track my exercises on here. I have been logging them on www.bodybuilding.com
It has been a great tool to track my workouts and see the progression I'm making. If you are interested in following me on there, my handle is shawnduncan72, will be great to see you there as well.

I want to really focus on here (blog) my journey to health and wellness. So with this said I want to touch on the subject of giving up, or in some cases, giving into the pressures of life.

In the past I really focused on food, food was such a enemy of mine. It ruled my every waking moment. How did I change this? I haven't, I just don't think it ever goes away, you just learn to start listening to your body. I find as I get older I tend to reach for foods that agree with me.  My tummy usually tells me what it wants and what doesn't agree with it. You have to find what foods make you feel better and what ones make you feel like you will have a belly ache from hell. So it is getting easier to manage my binging, my food preferences have changed as I work out more. I need a lot more of things I never thought Ide try before.

When people ask if I'm on a strict diet, I say, NO! I come to the conclusion it doesn't matter what type of hype diet you get on, you will, mark my words, gain as soon as you are off it. The trick, I believe, is to listen to what your body craves, if it craves a piece of chocolate, give it a piece, just know and be aware of the temptation of binging. Always the choice is yours!

 

In the past few decades I cant tell you how many times I have quit. I often wonder if I just stuck to it in my 20's how would my life would have been. I didn't have the courage to be the best me, I let others issues become my own and I just stop caring.

As I'm coming to the point of reaching a big mile stone, (my 100 lb weight loss) I get nervous and sometimes feel so much pressure, but I remember why I started. When you get told you cant it has a way of lighting a big fire under your rear! I will never give up on myself again. I know I'm worth being fit and healthy at any age I am.

 

So please remember this too, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

 

My weigh-in this week = 173.1

 

peace, health, happiness

~SHAWN~

 

Weekly workout Nov

 

Monday Nov. 10th 2014

 

Dead lift w/triceps pull back 4x5 130 lbs

Seated leg press 4x5 210 lbs

Hamstring machine 4x5 20 lbs

Squat machine 4x5 60 lb single leg squat

Seated leg curl machine 4x5 60 lbs

Leg extension machine 4x5 60 lbs

Octane machine 2.63 miles in 15 min.

 

Tuesday Nov. 11th

 

Band work for rehab shoulder

 

Wednesday Nov. 12th

 

Band work for rehab shoulder

 

Thursday Nov. 13th

 

Friday Nov. 14th

 

Seated leg press 1x5 210 lb, 3x5 230

Hamstring machine 4x5 30 lbs

Seated leg curl machine 4x5 50 lbs

Leg extension machine 4x5 50 lbs

Adductor machine 87.5 lbs

Abductor machine 87.5 lbs

Torso rotation machine 4x5 80 lbs each side

Octane machine 1 mile forgot to write time

 

Saturday Nov. 15th

 

Rear Delt Machine 1x10 30 lbs 2x10 50 lbs

Cybex machine Lat pull-down 4x5 60 lbs

Cybex machine rope triceps pull-down 4x10 50 lbs

Back extension machine 4x10 100 lbs

Octane machine 2.83 miles in 15 min.

 

Sunday Nov. 16th

 

Torso rotation machine each side 3x5 80lbs

Abs coaster machine (might I say crazy machine lol) 3x10 30 lbs

Abs crunch machine 1x10 50 lbs couldn't finish set impingement hurt trying to lift arm on pad to do crunch. This one will be a NO NO exercise until after rehab of shoulder.

Abs machine 4x10 45 lbs did oblique's only

Torso rotation machine, round 2, each side 3x10 80 lbs

Wrist exercises w/dumbbell 3x10 3 lb

 

 

Between fractured foot, shoulder impingement, death in the family, my car engine taking a poop, I managed to still fit in my workouts. I had the choice to just have my boo hoos and cover my head and not do a dang thing. Mind you I did do that for a day. I gave myself a day off to just cry, vent to loved ones, and then I got a grip and got my focus back.

In life we have 3 choices, one, take what life gives you, two, give up, three, fight for what you are entitled to have. Health and happiness!

As many times life has knocked me down, from some where deep inside I have a fire burning, telling me never to quit. I often forget that fire is there, but thank goodness I have a great support system, she is amazing in keeping me motivated, my dear love, I thank goodness for her.

So in your days that are filled with kids fighting, people bitching, bills hounding, remember you need to find time to better you. If you don't you will be as miserable as the problems chasing you.

 

 

 

Peace, health,happiness

~SHAWN~

 

 

 

Weekly workout- Nov 3-9 2014

November 3-9 2014 workouts

Nov 3 

Nov 4th

did circuit

abduction/adduction 

chest press/row

ab crunch/back extension

chest fly/reverse fly

squat

pull down/shoulder press

hip sled

bicep curl/triceps extension

leg extension

did 2 circuits 1 min per exercise

Nov 5th

Nov 6th

Nov 7th

Nov 8th

Cable cross machine twist 4x5 40 lbs

Cable cross machine twist 1x10 30 lbs

Abs machine 3x10 60 lbs

Dead lift w/triceps row 3x10 110 lbs.

Hammer curls 3x10 each side 15 lbs.

Cybex triceps rope pull down 1x10 50 lbs., 1x10 60 lbs.

Cybex lat pull-down  1x10 60 lbs., 1x5 70 lbs.

Back extension 2x10 110 lbs.

Seated leg press 2x10 210 lbs.

Leg extension 1x10 50 lbs., 1x10 70 lbs.

Seated leg curl 3x5 70 lbs.

Hip adduction 3x10 75 lbs.

Hip abduction 3x10 70 lbs.

Torso rotation 3x10 each side 80 lbs 

Octane machine 10 min 1.88 miles

What a fun new machine we have at the gym, Do to foot fracture I have had to redo my cardio plan. So I started using a recumbent bicycle, I really hated it, so when I seen our gym had a new machine I tried it. I really enjoy the workout and finally broke a sweat. Here is a video to let you see what I have been using since I cant run yet.

Nov 9th

Belly on ball w/3 lb. barbell shoulder lateral raise 4x10

Green band P.T. workout for 20 minutes for shoulder pain I have been having

Black band alternating bicep curl 4x10

Rear Deltoid machine 4x10 50 lbs.

Fly machine  4x10 9 lbs

Lateral raise machine 4x10 12.5 lbs.

Cybex bicep/tricep 4x10 30lbs.

This week has been full of trials and heart aches. for a minute I let all other things in my life get to me. I forgot to remember the bigger picture of life instead of worrying about things out of my control. It is funny as woman we want to do all and be all for our families. It is not until you humble your self and ask for help, that you truly find in you what you knew you had all along, STRENGTH! 

So no excuses my dears, get out and be the best you!

peace*health*happiness  

~SHAWN~

Workouts for 10-27-14 to 11-2-14

Monday 10-27-14

Leg extension machine 3x10 50 lbs.
Seated leg curl machine 3x10 50 lbs.
Hip abduction machine 3x10 75 lbs.
Hip adduction machine 3x10 75 lbs.
Back extension 1x10 70 lbs. 1x10 90 lbs. 1x10 110 lbs.
Sit up w/ball 3x10
Side leg lift w/ band (heavy resistance) each side 3x10
Side shuffle w/band (heavy resistance) each side 1x10
Stretch 15 minutes

Tuesday 10-28-14

Cable cross machine twist 3x10 35 lbs.
Cybex machine Modular Lat pull-down 2x10 60 lbs.
Cybex machine rope triceps pull-down  3x10 50 lbs.
Chest press machine 3x10 30 lbs.
Bicep #8 machine concentration curl right arm 3x10 30 lbs. Left arm 3x10 15 lbs. (left shoulder still touchy)
Bicep #8 machine bicep curl right arm 3x10 30 lbs. 3x10 15 lbs.
Lateral raise machine 3x10 12.5 lbs.
On ball side Lat raise 3x10 5 lbs.
On ball  Arnold Press 3x10 5 lbs.
Stretch 15 minutes

So I was told I have fractures in my right foot when I went to Dr. Tuesday afternoon. So I have to where a boot for the next 6-8 weeks. So my workouts will be modified to be able to keep working toward my goals :)

I WILL NOT LET THIS STOP ME!!

Wednesday 10-29-14

Hamstring #2 machine left leg 3x10 10 lbs. right leg 3x10 with my boot only
Hip adduction machine 3x10 75 lbs.
Hip abduction machine 3x10 75 lbs.
Abs machine oblique each side 3x10 60 lbs.
Squats w/20 lb. weighted ball 2x10
Leg extension machine 1x10 50 lbs. 1x10 40 lbs. 1x10 35 lbs.
Torso rotation (my new fav machine at gym) machine 3x10 50 lbs.
Back extension machine 3x10 110 lbs.
Encombrant bike 30 minutes 5.68 miles
Stretch 15 minutes

WEIGH IN DAY! = 175.2 OMG I am 15 lbs. away from my 100 lb. loss :)
My goal is to hit that before Dec. 31st 2014

Thursday 10-30-14

Alternating triceps kick back 3x10 15 lb. dumbbell
Alternating hammer curl 3x10 15 lbs. dumbbell
Arnold press 3x10 5 lbs.
Alternating biceps curl 1x10 15 lbs. 1x10 10 lbs. dumbbell
Dead lift with bar 3x10 110 lbs.
Biceps curl w/bar 3x10 50 lbs.
Reverse biceps curl w/bar 3x10 50 lbs.
Cybex machine rope triceps pull-down 3x10 50 lbs.
Cybex modular Lat pull-down 3x10 50 lbs.
Lateral raise machine 3x10 12.5 lbs.
Cable cross machine twist 3x10 35 lbs.
Cable cross machine shoulder press 3x10 15 lbs.
Bicep machine #8 left arm 3x10 15 lbs. right arm 3x10 35 lbs.
Fly machine 1x10 1x5 18 lbs.
Back extension machine 3x10 110 lbs.
Torso rotation machine each side 3x10 70 lbs.
Abs crunch machine 3x10 50 lbs.
Row/rear deltoid machine 3x10 50 lbs.
Chest press 3x10 30 lbs.
Encombrant bike 30 minutes 5.60 miles
Stretch 15 minutes

Friday 10-31-14

Seated leg curl machine 4x12 30 lbs.
Leg extension machine 4x12 30 lbs.
Hip abduction machine 4x12 75 lbs.
Hip adduction machine 4x12 75 lbs.
Rotary calf machine 4x12 50 lbs. left leg only
Torso rotation machine each side 4x12 70 lbs.
Back extension machine 4x12 90 lbs.
Kettle Bell lunges pass through legs 2x10 25 lbs.
Kettle Bell dead lift 1x12 25 lbs.
Seated leg press 3x10 190 lbs.
Abs machine 1x12 30 lbs. 1x12 35 lbs. 1x12 40 lbs. 1x12 45 lbs.
Ab crunch machine #18 3x12 50 lbs.
Bridge hold 10 sec 3x10
Encombrant Bike 15:44 3 miles
Stretch 15 minutes

Saturday 11-1-14

Fly wheel 4x10 10 lbs.
Lateral raise 4x10 10 lbs.
Alternating hammer curl 4x10 15 lbs.
Bicep curl w/bar 4x10 60 lbs.
Reverse bicep curl w/bar 4x10 60 lbs.
Dead lift w/bar 4x10 110 lbs.
Triceps kick back 1x10 15 lbs. dumbbell
Cybex machine rope triceps pull-down 4x10 50 lbs.
Cybex machine modular Lat pull-down 3x5 70 lbs.
Lateral raise machine 3x10 12.5 lbs.
Row/rear deltoid machine 4x10 50 lbs.
Torso rotation machine each side 2x10 75 lbs.
Side lateral raise on ball 4x10 10 lbs. dumbbell
Stretch 15 minutes

Sunday 11-2-14
REST DAY!!!

As I reflect back on my week, I really am impressed with the strength I'm gaining adding in weights. I was able to up my weight(poundage) in a few areas and I'm feeling stronger day by day. This coming week I want to really try some new moves and machines.  Got to keep that body guessing and not complacent. Time to do some research :)

MAKE IT CRY LOUD!!!

 

peace, health, happiness

~SHAWN~

Goals, goals and more goals...

I'm so excited from this weeks weigh in. I didn't realize it until I took a moment to sit down and fill in my weight loss book, but I'm only 15 lbs from making my 100 lbs weight loss and 35 lbs from my goal weight!!

I have been on this journey for a few decades, losing  30-40 pounds then gain it all back and then some. Lose another 50-60, then sabotage myself and gain some of the weight back. I usually fluctuated from 190 to 220, but I never let myself get to 260 again. I was good at keeping my weight in my comfort zone. I knew what my life was like at that weight, I knew what to expect from others when I was that weight. I just was comfortable.

It wasn't until I stepped out of my comfort zone I truly found myself and what my body can and will accomplish. Was I comfortable being the biggest girl in the exercise classes? NO, but I did them. Was I comfortable when I ran on the treadmill and it sounded like a heard of buffalo? NO, but I did it any way. No matter what comes your way don't let the stares and jaunts of others keep you from being the best you!

I always get a kick out of slipping on jeans that last month was to tight, wearing a t-shirt and looking good in it. Little things to most but for us that have been on a roller coaster ride of weight loss, this is such a great feeling. Keep that feeling in the front of your mind at all times. Know that the hours you put into your body at the gym , home gym, or outside,  will reward you for years to come. Your reward for all that hard work will be great. Please don't give up!!

Take your power back, don't let others make you think you cant be the person you was meant to be. If they find fault in you being your best then maybe you should let them know you will no longer tolerate that form of abuse. To dim another persons shine IS a form of abuse and should never be tolerated!!

So onto my next goal, 15 lbs to go by DEC. 31st 2014 :)

peace,health,happiness

~SHAWN~

Workouts for Oct. 20th-26th 2014

Monday Oct. 20th 2014

Helix intervals 20 min 1.85 miles
Triceps #7 machine 1x10 @ 30 lbs., 2x10 @ 25 lbs.
Bicep #8 machine 3x10 @ 30 lbs.
Abs machine front 1x10 @ 25 lbs. Both side 1x10 @ 30 lbs.
Modular Lat pull-down 1x10 @ 50 lbs., 2x10 @ 40 lbs.
Bicep with free weight 3x10 @ 15 lbs. alternating bicep
Shoulder abduction on ball w/free weight 3x10 @ 5 lbs.
Stretch 15 min.

Tuesday Oct. 21st 2014

Recumbent bike 2 miles in 11 min.
Precor machine 1 mile in 13:11min.
Weighted walking lunge 3x10 20 lbs.
Rotary calf machine 4x10 110 lbs.
Kettle bell pass through walking lunge 3x10 25 lbs.
Dead lift w/bar 1x10 70 lbs., 1x10 90 lbs., 1x10 110 lbs.
Ball slam 3x10 @ 12 lb. ball
Single leg dead lift w/kettle bell 3x10 each side w/ 25 lb. kettle bell
Stretch 15 min.

Wednesday Oct. 22nd 2014

Swim 2 hrs.

Thursday Oct. 23rd. 2014

Off- had a yard sale, and let me tell you I was sore come Friday and I have the bruises to show for all the hard work I did lol!

Friday Oct. 24th. 2014

Cable cross machine / wood chop high to low 3x10 @ 35 lbs.
Cable cross machine / wood chop low to high 3x10 @ 35lbs.
Abs machine / did oblique 3x10 each side @ 50 lbs.
Bicep #8 machine concentration curl left shoulder hurt so did 10 @ 35 lbs.
right arm 5 @ 50 lbs. 5 @ 35 lbs.
Modular Lat pull-down 5 @60 lbs. 5 @70 lbs. 5 @60 lbs.
Triceps pull down 3x5 @60 lbs.
Dead lift w/bar  3x10 110 lbs.
Stretch 15 min.

Saturday Oct. 25th. 2014

Swim 2 hrs.

Sunday Oct. 26th. 2014

OFF

I have had to modify my workouts due to my shoulder and foot pain. I made appointment w/Dr. to see if I have stress fracture in foot, not happy this will put a halt to my running for a while. So I will be making modifications to my cardio and strength training for the next 8 weeks.

Make this coming week a good one!! Your body does not lie, it does reflect what we eat and physically do throughout the week, so go make a beautiful reflection!!

 

peace, health,happiness

~SHAWN~

 

Weekend is here...and so is the food intake nightmares

The weekend is here and so is the dreaded binges. 

I don't know about you but the weekends are my hardest time to say no to sweetness. I enjoy relaxing, having some sweets on the weekend spending time with family. Is this a problem? Well it is when you make it into a all out weekend binge. 

My trick is to make sure I don't deprive myself a awesome yummy treat or two. I have learned if you deprive yourself of the things in life you can not have, you just end up stuffing yourself with every thing you can get your hands on. Then come  Monday morning your beating yourself up for binge eating.  The viscous cycle will, mark my words, continue until you admit to yourself you have a eating disorder and need help.

Help comes to those who ask!

You can continue this love hate relationship with food or you can search for the reason behind why it is you feel the need to eat your feelings. It is a scary thing to do, but so is dying from obesity and leaving the ones you love behind.

I have had so many health issues, and I believe it all boils down to my struggle with food. I have had many years of yo-yo dieting and this is very taxing on the body. Of course my body will fight back, it has no clue why I deprived, then binge, then deprived it again. All it knows is it is trying to keep up with the demand I put on my internal organs. I shouldn't be surprised that sickness has shown up in other areas of my health. 

This year has been full of learning experiences. I've finally come to terms with my eating disorder and I really take the time everyday to question if I'm being good to me or am I eating for other reasons. My body answers my questions daily by either getting ill from nasty food, or makes me feel alive from healthy foods. With this said I feel like you really need to pay attention to how your body responds and then you can make the wise choice not to be bad to your self by eating to much garbage.

You are worthy of living healthy and hunger free. You don't need to abuse yourself any more, the past is the past, leave it there. DO NOT go another day making excuses why you eat the way you do! Get plenty of exercise in, and don't say I'm to busy, squats can be done doing dishes! So if there IS a will there IS a way!!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

DO NOT let those head demons win!

Love your body, its the only place you have to live!!

Have a blessed weekend

peace,health,happiness

~Shawn~