Monday, August 13, 2012

chapters in my life


Seems like I'm always opening a new chapter in my life.
The past few months I have had a lot of trials and health issues. It has made me think so much more than I have in my whole life. Let me be the first to say that's saying a lot! I'm a natural born thinker, I always over-think everything I do in life. Now the time for making my thoughts into reality has been my biggest obstacle. I don't know how to put my thoughts and dreams into reality. I have constant fear of either failure or rejection. It is so hard when people think you have all the answers, I don't, I just don't!
The years are passing fast and it seems as I'm get older it going faster, I see loved ones come and go and it is so sad. My heart hurts more than I care to admit to others. I don't want to bring others down because I'm feeling blue, so I put on my clown face and pretend all is OK and I'm strong.
Sometimes I wish I could be weak like some I know. They seem to have got through life not really doing or saying a dam thing but people just assume they cant do more so they don't expect more from them. I say that's not fare. It is not fare that some get a pass go card because you are an idiot, and others get not a second chance when they "F" up!
For every chapter I head into I will keep an open mind and a wide eye!